More Classified Ad Translations

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More Used Car Classifieds Translations

If the ad says… it really means…

  • Numbers-Matching – The price in my ad matches the number of dollars I’d like to get for it.
  • Original Hemi Engine – Just installed it last week.
  • Authentic – To bad the VIN doesn’t match up.
  • Fast – Compared to a Geo Metro.
  • Looks Great – In dim light.
  • Always Garaged – That’s because it would never run long enough for me to get it out of the garage.
  • Needs Paint – To cover rust.
  • New Paint – Beautifully covers rust.
  • Solid as a rock – Rusted solid
  • Clean – I will vacuum up the 6 month old French Fries 10 minutes before you see the car.
  • Over $20,000 Invested – And that was just to get it to run.
  • Fully Loaded – Seller is too.
  • All Options – 8-track player.
  • 95% Complete – Can’t find the other 5%. or Everything except the engine.
  • Only 59,000 Miles – Actually 359,000 miles.
  • Rare Model – One of only 500,000 made.
  • Must Sell – Before the law finds seller. or Need bail money. or My wife just bought new furniture; again.
  • Sure to Appreciate – Yeah, that’s why I’m selling it.
  • Summer Fun – Roof leaks in winter. Won’t make it to fall.
  • Reliable – Don’t leave the neighborhood.
  • Daily Driver – 400 miles a day
  • Only Driven Sundays – Sunday is race day.
  • Engine Rebuilt – Engine degreased to look it.
  • Doesn’t Smoke – No oil to burn, or 90wt oil.
  • Trans. Rebuilt – Fine sawdust used to make it quiet.
  • 4 Speed Gearbox – 5th gear is dead.
  • Engine Blueprinted – I don’t know what that means either.
  • Hurry, Won’t Last – Neither will the car.
  • New Tires – Retreads years ago.
  • Well Maintained – I occasionally changed the oil. orOil changed every other leap year.
  • Drives Like a Dream – A nightmare.
  • No Time To Restore It – Can’t find the parts.
  • Never Smoked In – Unfortunately, that’s the best thing I can say about it.
  • Needs Minor Repair – Doesn’t run.
  • Needs Minor Overhaul – Needs engine.
  • Needs Major Overhaul – Phone the junkyard.
  • Car Cover – To help keep out rats.
  • Always Garaged – Embarrassed to leave it outside.
  • Looks like new – Just don’t try to drive it anywhere.
  • Rough Condition – Too bad to lie about.
  • Family Owned – Driven by 6 teenagers.
  • Restoration Started – The rest of the car has been in boxes since 1992.
  • Fully Restored – Nothing original.
  • All Original – I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
  • Smog Exempt – DMV doesn’t think so.
  • Tags Till Next Year – Stolen year sticker.
  • Excellent Gas Mileage – It’s slow.
  • Project Car – I can’t figure out how to finish it, and I doubt you will either.
  • Moving, Must Sell – Off to jail, need bail money.
  • No Disappointments – Once you hand me the cash, I promise I won’t be disappointed.
  • Loaded with Options – None of them work.
  • Loaded with Options – Each one more troublesome than the last.
  • Rare Option – Because the factory never offered it.
  • Motivated Seller – Motivated to get the hell out of town.
  • Lots of Potential – To drive you insane.
  • Parts Car – Beyond repair.
  • Immaculate – Recently washed.
  • Concours Condition – Recently waxed.
  • 95 Point Car – You think that is impressive, you should see the points on my driving record.
  • Show Winner – Once got third place in the 1983 Eastern Iowa Star Trek Convention but that was before the rust got really bad.
  • Other Interests Conflict – Spouse’s ultimatum: “Either that #!!@## thing goes or I do!”

 

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