Got an SUV? BFD!

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What’s With The SUV Thing?

Like a lot of people I really an not impressed by the HUGE SUV’s out there. As a matter of fact I find them pretty damn funny! And the people that own them are really even funnier.

Top Ten Reasons Why Not To Buy a SUV

  • EVERYONE ELSE drives one!
  • Too much vehicle for too much money.
  • Sucks more fuel than…well it just sucks!
  • Are you REALLY going to take that shiny new $40,000 SUV off road?
  • How can you “rough it” with a leather interior?
  • They’re just cheap pickup trucks with back seats for an extra $20,000+.
  • They’re too dang big!
  • Inferior overall safety.
  • Just like Chevy Chase’s Family Truckster Wagon, except with four wheel drive.
  • Lemmings drown!

Top Ten Signs of an SUV Poser

  • Thinks off-roading is going up his driveway.
  • Pays $30,000+ for a station wagon on a 4×4 pickup truck frame.
  • Thinks “roughing it” is having to park your own vehicle at the resort.
  • Dreams he is nearing the peak of a remote mountain whenever he drives over a speed bump.
  • Has sudden urges to follow other SUVs that are driving off steep cliffs.
  • Has a cell-phone in his SUV.
  • Orders an SUV with leather interior (bonus points for white leather).
  • Drives his SUV to the mall. Even one better … through the Taco Bell drive thru!
  • Shifts into four-wheel-drive whenever the potholes in the city get too big.
  • Tells his friends that he has been off-roading when in fact he just drove down a gravel road.

 

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