Used Car Classifieds Translations
If the ad says… it really means…
- MUST SELL – before it blows up.
- RUNS FINE – I was going to say “runs excellent” but I had a last minute attack of
- NEEDS SOME BODY WORK – was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
- Many new parts – I’m sick of dumping money into this broken down heap.
- WELL-MAINTAINED – I occasionally changed the oil.
- Appraised at $29,000 – By me.
- Frame-off Restoration – The body actually rusted right off the frame.
- Needs Front-End Alignment – Some serious frame-straightening wouldn’t hurt either.
- Same Owner For Last 20 Years – I’d never dream of selling it unless it was as bad as it is.
- LOOKS LIKE NEW – just don’t try to drive it anywhere.
- ALL ORIGINAL – I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced
- LOADED WITH OPTIONS – each one more troublesome than the last.
- NEVER SMOKED IN – unfortunately, that’s the best thing I can say about it.
- PROJECT CAR – I can’t figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either.
- LOTS OF POTENTIAL – to drive you insane.
- NEEDS MINOR REPAIR – doesn’t run.
- ENGINE QUIET – uses 90-weight oil
- PARTS CAR – beyond repair.
- ROUGH CONDITION- too bad to lie about.
- Must See To Appreciate – It’s a scientific mystery as to how a car with bad valves, a cracked block, and no bands left in the transmission can still get to the end of the driveway and back.
- Needs Minor Work – Needs significant work.
- Needs Nothing – Except a tow truck.
- All Original – Except for the tunnel ram intake, Pro Stock hoodscoop, KMart sunroof, fender flares by Bondo, Krylon paint job, hurky air shocks, mohair upholstery, Pep Boy stereo, and pawn shop wheels.
- Ready To Restore – After 8 years of abuse on the drag strip and 20 years in a field exposed to the elements, it is ready to be restored.
- Easy Project Car – Completely disassembled, bring boxes!
- IMMACULATE – recently washed.
- CONCOURS – recently waxed.
- NEEDS MINOR OVERHAUL – needs engine.
- NEEDS MAJOR OVERHAUL – phone the junkyard.
- BURNS NO OIL – it all leaks out.
- REBUILT ENGINE – cleaned the spark plugs.
- Minor Rust – Don’t sit down!
- Major rust you can’t see – I though I had it all covered with bondo, but you can still see some rust.
- Low Mileage
- Runs Great
Too bad it doesn�t roll.
- Third Owner
To see the light and get rid of this piece of junk.
- Nice Stereo
To overcome exhaust noise.
- California Car
And has been since it arrived from Cleveland three weeks ago.
- DRIVE IT AWAY
I live on a hill.
- DRIVE IT ANYWHERE
within 10 miles.
- DESIRABLE CLASSIC
no one wants it.
- RARE CLASSIC
no one wanted it even when it was new.
- STORED 20 YEARS
in a farmer’s field.
- RAN WHEN STORED
- NEVER APART
bolts too rounded to loosen.
- SOLID AS A ROCK
- RESTORED, WITH 0 MILES
- RESTORED, WITH 2 MILES
won’t stay running.
- OLDER RESTORATION
first owner washed it.
- GOOD INVESTMENT
can’t be worth much less.
- NO TIME TO RESTORE IT
can’t obtain parts.
- 95% COMPLETE
other 5% doesn’t exist.
homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows.
- GOOD TRANSPORTATION
It’s ugly as sin.
- ENGINE BLUEPRINTED
I don’t know what it means either.
- EXCELLENT GAS MILEAGE
- LOW MILES
the odometer was turned back.
- ONE OWNER
can’t give it away.
- SURE TO APPRECIATE
that’s why I’m selling it.
- OR BEST OFFER
I’m guessing here.
- FASTER THAN A ‘VETTE
- OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT
spouse’s ultimatum: “Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!”