You know you might be A Serious Gearhead when:
- The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
- You can’t drive your car in the rain.
- Your ‘significant other’ is afraid to drive your car.
- Your ‘significant other’ won’t even ride in the car.
- You are afraid to drive your car.
- You carry earplugs in your car.
- You wear earplugs in your car.
- You spend more on tires than on food.
- Your exhaust pipes are a larger diameter than your driveline.
- Your fuel pump can be used to water a golf course.
- Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
- News footage of cops chasing you is used as a training video at your state’s police academy.
- You have ever argued with your wife over making the mortage payment or buying that new set of headers while they’re still on sale.
- You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
- Your insurance company had to create a whole new actuarial table to cover you and your vehicle.
- Your insurance agent sends ‘Thank You’ postcards from Tahiti.
- You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car
taped to the dash.
- Your local DOT decides not to re-pave your street with that new rubberized asphalt because you’ve already ‘done such a good job.’
- Your local city council has passed an ordinance making it illegal for you to even enter a school-zone unless you are on foot.
- Traffic advisories are issued whenever your car is spotted during rush-hour.
- Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
- You consider ABS and traction control as options for the ‘driving impaired.’
- You’re tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the
- The local airport complains about the noise coming from your garage on Saturdays.
- You arrive somewhere before you left.
- You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will
let you go if "they can look under the hood."
- You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of
- You are not allowed to run in the Silver State
- You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested
in being in the Cannonball Run.
- Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when
you drive the car.
- You consider parachute braking.
- There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood
at 6 am.
- Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the
garage door is opened.
- Family photos throughout the house are replaced with
life-sized posters of your car.
- Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums!
- The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning
is the windshield.
- You find out that side mirrors don’t hold up at speeds
exceeding 145 mph.
- You watch the gas gauge go down visibly as you cruise along
- The guys down at the informal strip won’t run against you
without a 3 second lead.
*** This is dedicated to my buddy John T. ***